What His Drink Says About Him
Gin and Tonic
A classic drink for a classic dude. Anyone drinking a g+t is probably worth your while, or at least will be good for a few laughs (you know, if madras pants and popped collars aren’t your thing).
A guy drinking Smirnoff ice isn’t doing so because “it’s a refreshing and delicious beverage”, no matter how hard he tries to convince you it’s true. No, this guy is likely underage so proceed with caution. Lawsuits are the worst kind of follow-up call you can get from someone.
If you’re with a guy who chooses wine, chances are he’s a mature fellow. Or he’s trying really hard to make you think so.
Sex on the Beach
Ignore and walk away. Ignore and walk away. Oh my god, Megan is that you!? I haven’t seen you in forever let’s go have a very important conversation right now in the bathroom.
He’s a frat boy who never grew up. Next.
Whiskey straight-up is a man’s drink. A hot man’s drink. Just watch that he doesn’t drink too much, because that could make the post-date action a little…limp.
Anything With Fruit In It
Are you on a cruise? In Puerto Rico? Is Ricky Martin performing anywhere in the vicinity? If you answered yes to the first two, this drink choice is questionable at best. If you answered yes to my third…well, I hate to break this to you, but I think your date might be gay.
Something In a Martini Glass
Any kind of -tini that isn’t a classic gin martini is a no-no. It’s not hot to watch him slosh his pink hued vodka cocktail around in a dainty glass.
Cheap or Keg Beer
One of my favorite kinds of guys; he’s easy to please, doesn’t feel the need to impress people with labels and is always down for a good time. ‘Merica!!
Imported or Craft Beer
If he simply likes trying new beers, that’s cool. I’m all for getting adventurous or trying a local brew. But if he’s the kind of guy who INSISTS upon only drinking expensive imports “because Bud Light is for poor people”…he’s a tool and you can do better.
He probably writes for COED.
What Her Drink Says About Her
· Wine: As much as it pains me to say this, everyone gets a free pass ordering wine at a restaurant. That’s what normal people do when they eat. If you’re at a normal bar, though, you’re on a date with someone who doesn’t know how to let loose. Be careful of a girl who defends herself by saying that wine has a high alcohol content; liquor has much more.
· Beer: This one is easy because all that matters is what kind they order. Miller Light? Nope. Blue Moon, Hoegaarden, or something else with a fruit in it? You’ve correctly guessed that they have a vagina. Natty Light? You’re in for a rowdy night. Old English? You’re a braver soul than me. Just make sure you’re out of the homeless shelter by 6:00 AM.
· Shots: Drinking shots at restaurant seems like something pretty ballsy (I somehow haven’t tried that yet) so props if she deserves daps if she’s one suggesting it. Just make sure that you’re fully capable of cleaning up the mess that is her life.
· Vodka Martini: She knows how to get drunk and look classy at the same time.
· Gin Martini: No one our age drinks these anymore so it’s fair to say that she’s a little bit older than you. Props for dating the older ladies.
· Long Island Iced Tea: It might have been a rough day. I’ve heard that 11th grade can be pretty stressful these days.
· Whiskey: It’s not as impressive if she’s drinking it in shot form but it’s hard to argue against a girl who likes a good Jack and Coke or a Whiskey Ginger. I’ve found that these ladies are stereotypically a good time and don’t take themselves too seriously. Pretty much the exact opposite of a wine snob.
· Tequila: If she’s drinking a margarita, you’ve got a winner. Tequila sunrise? Please introduce us because I’ve never actually seen one ordered before. There’s a good chance she might be too much for you to handle.
· Vodka: This one has always been tricky for me. On one hand, it’s hard to respect a drink that doesn’t taste like anything. On the other hand, she cares less about the taste and more about the ‘getting drunk.’
· Cosmopolitan: Ehh.
Here Are the 10 Things New Moms Hate Hearing From People:
A survey by the Pull Ups diaper company found that one in four new moms has stopped talking to someone over something they said about their new baby. Here are the 10 things you shouldn’t say to a new mom:
#1.) That their baby looks tall … or short. Either way, new moms don’t want to hear about how unusually-sized their baby is.
#2.) That when YOUR child was the same age, they were already doing … whatever. New moms are sensitive, and want their baby to be the center of attention.
#3.) That their baby is overly energetic.
#4.) Their baby should be talking more by now.
#5.) Their baby should be sleeping through the night by now.
#6.) Not to give them a pacifier.
#7.) That their baby doesn’t eat very well.
#8.) They should be walking by now.
#9.) They should be crawling by now.
#10.) They should have given up their pacifier by now. (Daily Mail)
Check Out Some Rock Stars’ Crappy Pre-Fame Jobs:
So you think you have a crappy job? Don’t worry … someday you might be a rich, famous rock star. Because even those guys had to work “regular” jobs before they got their big breaks.
—The website UltimateClassicRock.com has put together a list of the pre-fame jobs of the stars. Here they are …
—David Lee Roth was a hospital orderly.
—Ozzy Osbourne was a plumber’s assistant and also worked at a slaughterhouse.
—Rod Stewart and Joe Strummer from The Clash were gravediggers.
—Jon Bon Jovi made Christmas decorations.
—Mick Jagger ran errands at a mental hospital.
—Sting was a teacher, a construction worker and a tax officer.
—Jack White ran an upholstery company
—Brandon Flowers from The Killers was a bellhop at a Las Vegas hotel.
—Kurt Cobain was a janitor.
—Korn singer Jonathan Davis was an embalmer.
LAW & DISORDER: The Most Shoplifted Items (Posted 3:00 AM, 6/18/2012)
These are the 15 most shoplifted items in the United States …
Diabetic Testing Strips
Weight Loss Pills
Electric Toothbrushes and Replacement Heads
Lotions and Creams
Pregnancy Tests -
Cell Phones (HuffingtonPost.com)
People Who Need To Get Out Of The Way
From Cracked.com here is a list of people who need to get out of the way.
7. People Who Stand in Front of the Most Useful Thing in the Room
6. People Who Just Want to “Get in Real Quick”
5. People Who Stand Right in Front of Elevator Doors
4. People Who Are in Denial About the Size of Their Backpacks
3. People Who Must Always Stay Parallel to Their Walking Companions
2. People Who Leave Two Seats Between Them at Airports
1. People Who Spontaneously Start Conversations in High-Traffic Areas
Name some other people you’d like to see get out of the way.
Britney Spears is the Sexiest Woman in Music … And Adam Lambert is the Sexiest Man:
According to a new poll by Billboard.com, BRITNEY SPEARS is Music’s Sexiest Woman. By a LANDSLIDE. Britney came away with 45% of the vote … followed by LADY GAGA with only 12%.
—Here’s the Top 10, which accounts for a little over 90% of the vote:
#1.) Britney Spears, 45%
#2.) Lady Gaga, 12%
#3.) Beyonce, 8%
#4.) Rihanna, 6%
#5.) Katy Perry, 5%
#6.) Demi Lovato, 3.89%
#7.) Madonna, 3.75%
#8.) Jennifer Lopez, 3%
#9.) Nicki Minaj, 1.89%
#10.) Taylor Swift, 1.84%
For Music’s Sexiest Men, the voting was a lot closer. ADAM LAMBERT “only” got 26% of the vote, while second-place finisher ADAM LEVINE had 12%. (—That’s a gap of 14%, as opposed to 33% for the ladies.)
—Here’s the Top 10, which accounts for a little over 87% of the vote:
#1.) Adam Lambert, 26%
#2.) Adam Levine, 12%
#3.) Justin Bieber, 10%
#4.) Enrique Iglesias, 9.75%
#5.) Bill Kaulitz from Tokio Hotel, 8%
#6.) Bruno Mars, 5.9%
#7.) Jon Bon Jovi, 5.8%
#8.) Chris Brown, 5%
#9.) Usher, 3%
#10.) Drake, 2%
Oklahoma City is Named the Manliest City in the U.S.:
All of a sudden, it’s totally badass to live in Oklahoma City. They’ve got a team in the NBA Finals that almost everyone in America is hoping will beat the Miami Heat … and now this.
—There’s a new list of America’s MANLIEST cities, and Oklahoma City came in at number one. (—Miami came in 36th out of 50.)
—The list is based on factors like the number of hardware stores, steakhouses, and people in manly occupations. And cities LOSE points for having high numbers of nail salons and fancy boutiques.
—The top 10 manliest cities are Oklahoma City … Columbia, South Carolina … Memphis … Nashville … Birmingham, Alabama … Houston … St. Louis … Toledo, Ohio … Cleveland … and Charlotte, North Carolina.
—The 10 least manly U.S. cities are San Diego … San Francisco … Oakland … Boston … Los Angeles … Rochester, New York … Sacramento … Washington D.C… . Harrisburg, Pennsylvania … and Seattle. (Fort Myers News-Press)
The 10 Funniest Dads on TV:
Father’s Day is this Sunday, and in honor of that we have a list of The 10 Funniest Dads on TV. Someone put it together for Buzzfeed.com.
—Here’s the list … which is mostly made up of recent shows:
1.) Hank Hill from “King of the Hill” … voiced by Mike Judge
2.) Al Bundy from “Married with Children” … played by Ed O’Neill
3.) Michael Bluth from “Arrested Development” … played by Jason Bateman
4.) Stan Smith from “American Dad” … voiced by Seth MacFarlane
5.) Red Forman from “That ’70s Show” … played by Kurtwood Smith
6.) Randy Marsh from “South Park” … voiced by Trey Parker
7.) Phil Dunphy from “Modern Family” … played by Ty Burrell
8.) Hal from “Malcolm in the Middle” … played by Bryan Cranston
9.) George Lopez from “The George Lopez Show”
10.) Dr. Cliff Huxtable from “The Cosby Show” … played by Bill Cosby
ARE YOU A HAPPY MAN?
Are you a happy man? You may think you are, but do you really know for sure?
Here are 10 signs that you’re happy.
You make good eye contact when you speak to someone.
You’re 95 years old. Happy people live the longest.
You’re Kind, selfless and empathetic.
You’re distracted. Studies show that happy people are more easily distracted.
You’re generous and laid back.
You’re not addicted to anything.
You have a lot to look forward to.
You’re very trusting of others. (Mademan.com)
It’s Taken 32 Years, But a Coroner Has Finally Determined That a Dingo Really Did Eat That Baby:
Back in 1980, a nine-week-old baby named Azaria Chamberlain disappeared from a campsite in Australia. Her mother, Lindy, claimed a DINGO took her. If you don’t know, a dingo is a wild dog that’s indigenous to Australia.
—Even if you’ve never heard the story, you probably recognize the catchphrase that sprang from it: A DINGO ATE MY BABY. (—The line wasn’t actually in the Meryl Streep movie “A Cry in the Dark”, but a “Seinfeld” episode made it famous.)
—Anyway, it’s taken 32 years, but FINALLY a coroner has determined that … yes, a dingo really DID eat that baby. Early this morning in Australia, the coroner told a courtroom that they’re 100% sure a dingo was responsible for the death.
—Lindy was actually convicted of murdering her daughter in 1982, but the conviction was overturned in 1988 when some of Azaria’s clothing was found near a dingo lair right by the campsite. Still, questions have always lingered.
—This is the fourth examination into the death, and the first time the coroner’s office could definitively say Azaria was killed by a dingo. They say new evidence of 11 other serious dingo attacks in the area is what finally convinced them. (Sydney Morning Herald)
One in Eight Women Have Bought Expensive Clothes, Worn Them Out, Then Returned Them the Next Day:
Have you ever bought clothes, kept the tags on them while you wore them out … then returned them? If you’re a man, probably not. If you’re a woman … yeah, there’s a decent chance you have. Even though that’s DIRTY.
—According to a new survey, about one out of every eight women say yeah, they’ve bought some expensive clothes, worn them out, then returned them the next day.
—The authors of the survey say the actual number is probably even higher … these were just the 12.5% of women willing to admit it.
—Of the women who admitted to doing that, about half say the main motivation was the money … they couldn’t afford to keep the clothes. About one in five say they like to do it for the RUSH … it’s like stealing, but feels less risky.
—Women are most likely to buy an outfit for a WEDDING, wear it once, then return it. Christenings are second, black tie events are third, and Christmas parties are fourth. (Daily Mail)
Four Myths About Old Age That You Shouldn’t Believe:
If you think getting older pretty much sucks in every way, here’s something that might calm you down. ”Reader’s Digest” has a list of old-age myths you shouldn’t believe. Here are the top four.
Myth #1.) Most Seniors Are Cranky and Unhappy. Yes, SOME of them are. But researchers in Germany interviewed 40 people who were over a hundred, and 71% said they were happy in general.
—Plus, more than half said they were just as happy as when they were younger.
Myth #2.) Old Age Kills Your Libido. Your age alone DOES have an effect, but not typically until you’re around 75. Most cases of reduced sex drive are caused by preventable conditions, like high blood pressure, heart disease, and diabetes.
—In one study, about 60% of seniors said they’d had some type of sexual experience in the past year … which isn’t quite as unrealistic as it sounds, because that included things like kissing, hugging, and holding hands.
—But the one thing that MIGHT surprise you is how almost all of them said they craved MORE sexual activity. The main problem they faced was finding a PARTNER.
DC Comics is Moving Ahead with a “Justice League” Movie:
Now that Marvel’s “Avengers” movie is one of the most successful films of all time, DC Comics is once again trying to get a “Justice League” movie off the ground. —The Justice League is basically DC’s version of The Avengers. Its members include Superman, Batman, Aquaman, Wonder Woman, Flash and Green Lantern. —A writer is working on the script as we speak. It’s possible that next year’s Superman reboot “Man of Steel”, starring HENRY CAVILL, might act as sort of a lead-in. —One of the bigger questions is whether CHRISTIAN BALE would return to play Batman. And the answer … at least the one we’ve gotten so far … is NO. —Bale has stated pretty categorically that “The Dark Knight Rises” is his last Batman movie.
It’s tougher than ever for new college graduates to find a job … and the ones who do might not have them for long. A survey of bosses and personnel managers found that young people are more unprofessional than ever. 83% use social media too much during work hours, and 82% have been caught texting when they should be working.
Will Ashton Kutcher Destroy the Legacy of “Smokey and the Bandit”?
Are there any hardcore “Smokey and the Bandit” fans left out there? If so, you’re not going to like this: There’s talk that ASHTON KUTCHER might star in a remake.
—A source says, quote, “Ashton is a huge fan of BURT REYNOLDS and the original. He’s seriously considering bringing the character and the story up to date with him as the Bandit but with Burt involved in some way.”
Casey Anthony is the Most Hated Person in America … But Kim Kardashian is a Close Second:
CASEY ANTHONY is the most hated person in America, according to a poll of more than 9,000 “New York Post” readers. Here’s the Top 10, along with the percentage of respondents who hated them …
#1.) Casey Anthony, 19.8%
#2.) Kim Kardashian, 17.3%
#3.) Former Penn State Defensive Coordinator (slash) alleged child molester Jerry Sandusky, 16.8%
#4.) Bernie Madoff, 14.7%
#5.) Michael Moore, 10.3%
#6.) John Edwards, 10.2%
#7.) O.J. Simpson, 5.1%
#8.) (tie) Mel Gibson and Tiger Woods, 2%
#10.) Paris Hilton, 1.8%
The Worst Baby Names Last Year … At Least Five Kids Each Were Named Swayze, Dierra, Cougar, Latina, Tron, Eh, Tequila, and Peniel:
The website KidCrave.com analyzed the Social Security Administration’s full list of baby names from 2011. They weren’t looking for the most popular names … they were looking for the OBSCURE names. Here are some highlights:
—Alcohol. There were five girls named Tequila last year, and five boys named Patron. There were also nine girls named Chardonnay and 12 named Abeer.
—Criminal. There were 12 boys named Juvenal … six named Corleone … and five each for the names Capone, Gotti, Innocent, Bates, and Notorious.
—Sexual? There were five girls named Peniel, and 116 named Analee. There were six boys each for the names Manases, Penisimani, and Asser.
—Celebrities. There were five boys named Swayze, as in PATRICK SWAYZE. Six girls were named Brees, as in DREW BREES. Five boys were named Draper, like DON DRAPER. And six girls were named Tiger … possibly after their father.
—Random. Five girls were named Moo, six girls were named Latina, six girls were named Tomorrow, six boys were named Cougar, seven boys were named Tron, and seven girls were named Eh. (KidCrave)
Four Not-So-Obvious Things That Are Stressing You Out:
A lot of things are obviously stressing you out … your job, dealing with your relatives. But here’s a list of four things that might be stressing you out without you even REALIZING IT.
#1.) The Lack of Cubicles at Your Office. A lot of offices have open floor plans now, so you can see the whole way across the room.
—It seems like a good thing, but it can actually be more stressful than sitting in a cubicle, because your brain is constantly being distracted. Even if you don’t notice all the extra activity, your BRAIN is working overtime.
#2.) Sleeping with a Night-Light On. It might even make you DEPRESSED. Researchers at Ohio State made one group of hamsters sleep in complete darkness, and made the other group sleep with a night-light on.
—After eight weeks, the ones that used the night-light weren’t as active, and also started eating less. Which are both symptoms of depression.
—According to the researchers, it mostly had to do with the sleep hormone melatonin, which your body produces when your brain thinks it’s dark outside. When you sleep with a night-light on, sometimes your brain gets confused.
#3.) Background Noises. Even a buzzing fluorescent light or the hum of traffic adds to your stress level. You just don’t notice it.
—In fact, studies have found that kids who live close to loud things like highways and airports tend to have higher blood pressure, and score lower on reading tests. Their language skills take longer to develop too.
#4.) Your Smartphone. You can do basically anything on it now. And when you bought it, you probably thought it would make your life LESS stressful, right?
—The problem is, when you have a smartphone everyone expects you to be available all the time. And research has shown that your stress level goes up the more you check your email and text messages.
The Top 40 Boy Band Members of the ’90s, Ranked By “Current Hotness”:
There’s a new list of The Top 40 Boy Band Members from the ’90s, Ranked By Current Hotness online. And that’s hot as in “attractive,” not hot as in “still having a career.” Of course.
1.) Joey McIntyre from New Kids on the Block
2.) Justin Timberlake from ‘N Sync
3.) Dan Miller from O-Town
4.) Christian Burns from BBMak
5.) Jeff Timmons from 98 Degrees
6.) Nick Lachey from 98 Degrees
7.) Erik-Michael Estrada from O-Town
8.) Howie Dorough from Backstreet Boys
9.) Stephen McNally from BBMak
10.) Evan Farmer from 2Gether
7 Ways Of Saying Sorry That Are Actually Worse Than Saying Nothing At All
1. “I’m Sorry You Feel That Way.” I’m sorry you feel that way is the Nellie Olson of apologies — superior, and snotty with small teeth and blonde braids and oh my god, Jesus Christ. “I’m sorry you feel that way” manages to express the word “sorry” without actually taking any responsibility. Instead, it puts it all back on the other person for feeling bad. In effect, it’s saying, “We wouldn’t be having this problem if you could get your own feelings under control.”
2. “Can’t We Move Past This?” What this actually means is “Can’t you move past this” because you’re the one holding up resolving this problem.
3. “I’m Sorry If I Hurt Your Feelings.” This apology doesn’t actually apologize for the transgressive act, it only seeks single you out for having your feelings hurt. Because you’re a total Sensitive Sally and big pussy. And you’re always taking things too seriously and why can’t you just take a friggin’ joke?
4. “Okay, I’m Sorry.” This says, “You’ve frustrated me to the point that I will acquiesce and give you an apology I don’t think you really deserve.”
5. “I’m Sorry If You Think I Was Being Insensitive.” It says, “I know I wasn’t really being insensitive, you just took it that way. Because you’re too sensitive.”
6. “Sorry, I Thought You’d Understand.” But you’re too jealous/insecure/oversensitive/silly/stupid for that.
7. “Sorry I Said Anything.” This apology turns the transgressor into the victim. They thought they were going to get extra points for being real. Now they’re the ones who are being victimized by you. All they were doing was trying to be honest. Why can’t you appreciate that?
Britney Spears’ “X Factor” Demands Include a Ton of Diet Coke and Doritos:
The not-always-reliable British tabloids claim BRITNEY SPEARS is demanding a boatload of diet coke and Doritos in her “X Factor” rider.
—Here’s a rundown of what she wants:
—12 Snickers bars … six cases of Diet Coke containing 24 cans, which must be replenished every week … 10 bags of Doritos for her and her team a day … 12 vases of magnolia blossoms in her dressing room …
—And 10 pieces of chicken and four pints of potato salad every week. She also requested a “beauty team,” which includes a personal manicurist, a facialist and a massage therapist.
Four Things You Might Be Doing Wrong on Facebook:
Even if you use Facebook every day, you still might not be doing it right. The website Lifehacker.com has a list of things a lot of Facebook users do wrong. Here are the top four.
#1.) You Haven’t Messed with Your Privacy Settings. According to a new study by “Consumer Reports”, 13 million Facebook members in the U.S. haven’t. That’s just under 10% of us.
—But it’s really simple. Just visit your “privacy settings” page, which you can access in the top right corner of your homepage.
—The easiest thing to do is change your default privacy from “public” to “friends,” so only your FRIENDS can see what you post. Or you can choose “custom, and block certain people from seeing what you write … like your parents.
#2.) You Let Facebook Spam Your Email Inbox with Notifications. Changing your email settings is really easy. Just go to your account settings in the top right-hand corner of your Facebook page, then click “Notifications” on the left.
—On the next page, just scroll down and uncheck the boxes next to anything you don’t want to get emailed about … like when someone “pokes” you, or comments on a picture you were tagged in.
#3.) You Don’t Filter Your News Feed. If you haven’t messed with the settings, chances are your news feed is packed with stuff you don’t care about … like baby pictures your ex posted.
—Facebook DOES automatically filter it a little bit, but they don’t know exactly what to filter unless you tell them.
—So the next time you see something in your news feed that you don’t care about, hover over the message, and click the downward-facing triangle in the upper right-hand corner of it.
—It gives you the option to receive ALL of the person’s updates, MOST of them, or only the most IMPORTANT ones. Or you can cut them out of your news feed completely, without unfriending them.
#4.) You Complain About Features You Hate, but Don’t Fix Them. A lot of people do this. But there’s a Facebook extension called SocialFixer that can get rid of just about anything you don’t like, including your chat bar and your timeline.
—It also lets you filter your news feed even MORE.
Bar Refaeli Tops the “Maxim” Hot 100 List:
“Maxim” magazine released its annual Hot 100 list yesterday … and LEONARDO DICAPRIO’S ex-girlfriend BAR REFAELI tops it.
—Speaking of ladies Leo’s been all up in, BLAKE LIVELY made it to #13, but GISELE BUNDCHEN failed to make the cut.
—This year’s list was voted on by readers, which is how STEPHEN COLBERT managed to get to #69. And Lois Griffin, a cartoon character from “Family Guy”, is #85.
—KIM KARDASHIAN also didn’t make the list … but Britain’s “Zoo” magazine just named her the Hottest Woman in the World. (—You can read more about that here.)
—Here’s the “Maxim” Top 20 …
#1.) Bar Refaeli
#2.) Olivia Munn
#3.) Mila Kunis
#4.) Katy Perry
#5.) Olivia Wilde
#6.) ”Hunger Games” minx Jennifer Lawrence
#7.) Emma Stone
#8.) Megan Fox
#9.) Malin Akerman
#10.) Adrianne Palicki
#11.) Rosie Huntington-Whiteley
#12.) Kate Beckinsale
#13.) Blake Lively
#14.) Lea Michele
#15.) Kristen Stewart
#16.) Charlize Theron
#17.) Scarlett Johansson
#18.) Katrina Bowden
#19.) Victoria Justice
#20.) Jennifer Love Hewitt